The Five Stages of Grief

Sadly, grief is something that everyone has to go through during his or her lifetime.  However, grieving does not only apply to the loss of a loved one.  One can grieve over the loss of a job, a marriage, or a friendship.  Below, are the five stages of grief.  There is no right or wrong way to grieve. The first step to help ease the pain of your grief is understanding the steps of the grieving process.

Five stages of grief:

1.Bargaining – Bargaining often takes place before the loss.  Attempting to make deals with the spouse who is leaving, or attempting to make deals with God to stop or change the loss.  You beg, wish, and pray for them to come back.

2.Denial – “This can’t be happening to me”.  You look for the former spouse in familiar places, or if it is death, you set the table for the person or act as if they are still living there.  You do not cry, you just do not accept or acknowledge the loss.

3.Anger – “Why me?” You have feelings of wanting to fight back or get even with spouse of divorce.  For death, you are angry at the deceased, and you blame them for leaving.

4.Depression – You have overwhelming feelings of hopelessness, frustration, bitterness, and self-pity.  You mourn the loss of the person, as well as the hopes, dreams, and plans for their future.  You feel loss of control and numb, perhaps suicidal.

5.Acceptance – There is a difference between resignation and acceptance.  You have to accept the loss, not just try to bear it quietly.  You realize that it takes two to make or break a marriage.  You realize that, in the case of death, the person is gone, it is not their fault, and they did not leave you on purpose.  Even in the case of suicide, often the deceased person was not in their right frame of mind.  You find the good that can come out of the pain of loss by finding comfort and healing.  Our goals turn towards our personal growth and you stay with fond memories of the person

 

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